No Cloud · No Account · No Audience

Written in Green Rooms. Tested at Open Mics.

BITS & SETS is where stand-up material lives. Write a premise and its punchlines once, pull them into any setlist, and read them side-stage in the dark. It stays on your iPhone — the only thing that ever leaves is a backup you make yourself, locked with a passphrase only you know.

Get It See How It Works
The Bits screen on iPhone: a searchable list of premises, each with its status, beat count, language and running time, and a filter row reading All, Idea, Testing, Working, Retired.

How it works

Write. Build. Perform. Log.

  1. Write the Bit

    A premise and its beats — a punchline, a topper on the laugh you just got, and the closer you leave on. Each beat is a line you can pick, reorder or cut for any set. Status and tags keep the notebook tidy; search finds a line from three words of it.

    The bit editor: the premise “My uncle took me golfing.”, two beats marked punchline and topper, an Add Beat row, then status, language and tags.

  2. Build the Set

    Pick the bits you want tonight, and which of their beats. The clock updates as you go — at your own speaking pace, with room left after each punchline for the laugh. Give the set a target and it tells you what is left, or what is over.

    The Sets screen: upcoming and past setlists, each with venue, date, number of bits and running time.

  3. Perform

    One bit per screen. Big type, black background, the time at the top, and the screen stays on. Tap or swipe to move on — readable at a glance from the mic stand, in whatever light the room has.

    Performance mode on the last bit of a set: the premise and its beats in large type on black, a progress bar and the elapsed time, and the End of the set sheet offering Log this show.

  4. Log the Show

    Killed, OK or died — one tap per bit, a note if you want one. Every bit carries its own history across every set it has been in, so the next time you build one, you know what worked where.

    Logging a show called Open mic Tuesday: each bit with a Killed, OK or Died choice and a field for what happened.

The Deal

We Don't Want Your Jokes.

Your material is your livelihood. There is no server to send it to, no model to train it on, and nobody at Grunt who could read it if they wanted to.

Account Required
None
Works Offline
Always
Data Leaving Phone
Only a Backup You Make
Languages
EN · FR · IT

The backup is one file, encrypted on the phone with a passphrase you choose before it is written anywhere. There is no recovery, because there is no one who could do the recovering. The long version is the privacy policy.

Go Kill.

iPhone first, as an open beta on TestFlight — no waitlist and no “notify me” box, because nothing on this page collects an email address. Works with the phone in airplane mode, side-stage, at 1 a.m.

iOS BetaJoin on TestFlight

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